It Wasn't Me
by Dem0nFl0wer
Summary: G-boys acting like mansluts to the tunes of Shaggy's 'It Wasn't Me'.


Duo's a wannabe player in this songfic (yeah, it's THAT overplayed melody), finding redemption with the boy he loves :)

It Wasn't Me

"oh…"

"…Ohhh…"

"OHHHHH!"

sss…plop…CRASH…

Duo's hand flung wildly across the counter, sending various toiletries off onto the tile floor. He barely had a moment to contemplate how to tell Heero he had broken a bottle of his favorite cologne when the door to the bathroom burst open, its slam overpowering the groans and screams coming from the room. Duo shouted his orgasm as he stared at the youth at the door in horror, pushing off and out of the man in front of him.

"…Heero…"

* * *

Duo knocked wildly on the door to his best friend's house. "Yo, man!"

Quatre's sleepy voice came through the door. "Yo."

"Hey, open up, Quat."

"Duo, what do you want?"   
"My boy just caught me."   
"You let him catch you?"   
"I don't know how I let this happen"   
Quatre opened the door, mild interest sparkling in his eye. "With who?"   
"The guy next door, you know?"   
"Man, Trowa?"  
"I don't know what to do."   
"Say it wasn't you."  
"Alright."   
Quatre pulled his red velour robe closer as he led Duo into the house. "So what happened?"

Duo sighed. "Well,  
Heero came in and he caught me red-handed,   
creeping with the boy next door.   
Picture this: we were both butt-naked   
Banging on the bathroom floor."

Duo shook his head, wondering how he could have been so stupid. "How could I forget that I had given him an extra key?  
All this time he was standing there,   
he never took his eyes off me." 

Quatre scratched his head as he made his way poolside, plopping down on a plush chair. He wondered why Duo was singing his story, but decided to go along with it.  
"How you can grant the man access to your villa?   
Trespasser and a witness while you cling on your pillow.   
You better watch your back before he turns into a killer,  
best for you and the situation not to call the beaner.   
To be a true player you have to know how to play," Quatre beamed, suggesting that he was, indeed, a player. Dorothy and Wufei attested to the fact, flocking both of his sides wearing nothing but a string bikini and a Speedo, respectively. "If he says you're not, convince him, say you're not gay.   
Never admit to a word that he says.   
Make a claim and you tell him 'baby, no way'."   
  
Duo cringed. Quatre was a really bad rapper. "But he caught me on the counter."   
"Say 'it wasn't me'."   
"…saw me banging on the sofa."   
Dorothy and Wufei joined in with Quatre, repeating the mantra Duo should have had down by now. "It wasn't me."   
"I even had him in the shower."   
"It wasn't me."   
"He even caught me on camera."   
" It wasn't me." Wufei shook his head. Duo should know there was nothing a little smooth talking couldn't get you out of.  
"He saw the marks on my shoulder."   
"It wasn't me."   
"Heard the words that I told him."   
"It wasn't me."   
"Heard the screams getting louder."   
"It wasn't me."   
"He stayed until it was over…" 

Quatre raised an eyebrow, prompting Duo to go on.

Duo plopped his head in his hands. "I had tried to keep him from what he was about to see.   
Why should he believe me when I told him it wasn't me?" 

Quatre sighed in exasperation. Sadly, Duo would never be the sex god he was. "Duo,  
make sure he knows it's not you and lead him on the right prefix.   
Whenever you should see him make the gigolo flex,   
as funny as it be by you, it not that complex.   
Seeing is believing so you better change your specs,   
you know he not gonna be worrying bout things from the past,   
hardly recollecting and then he'll go to noontime mass.   
Duo babe, your answer: go back over there,   
but if he packs a gun you know you better run fast."   
  
"How could I forget that I had given him an extra key?" Duo looked up at Quatre, seemingly coming to a decision about something. "All the time he was standing there he never took his eyes off me." 

Duo stood up, shaking his head at Quatre. "I'm gonna tell him that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused.   
I've been listening to your reasoning it makes no sense at all.   
I should tell him that I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused.   
You may think that you're a player but you're completely lost!"

Quatre sipped a lemonade as Duo stormed out of the house. What was his problem, any way?

* * *

Duo was down on his knees, holding onto Heero's hand. "…gomen nasai."

Heero sniffled a little. "Honto ni?"

"Honto."

"I don't know…"

Duo pulled a box from behind his back. "I bought you a chocolate manatee…"

Heero's eyes lit up. "Honto ni?"

"Honto."

Heero grabbed the box, hugging it to his chest. "Well…I guess I can forgive you then."

Duo smiled as he stepped into Heero's apartment.

Fuck Quatre. He had his koi.

~owari~


End file.
